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With the gaming industry’s anniversary appointment Ice starting on Tuesday, here’s a admonition of aback James Milton took in the different atmosphere at the world’s better action appearance in 2014.

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Article aboriginal appear February 9, 2014

It’s half-past 11 on Tuesday morning and a woman dressed as Alice in Wonderland has aloof asked if I’d like to win a cruise to Monaco. The strangest allotment of this action is that it doesn’t assume aberrant at all. I’ve stumbled through the looking-glass into the bewitched and surreal commonwealth of Ice 2014, the world’s better action and gaming show.

I abide the allurement to leer at Alice and ask: “Are you allotment of the prize, love?” – she’s allegedly alone heard that band 97 times this morning – and abide my expedition about the all-inclusive halls of London’s ExCeL. The Docklands breadth – a abutting favourite of any announcer whose computer has a adhesive caps-lock key – is one of the few exhibition centres abounding abundant to board Ice.

More than 500 companies, from A Bet A Technology to Zeus Service Ltd, are announcement at ExCeL and the organisers, Clarion Events, appraisal at atomic 20,000 bodies will appointment during the three-day Totally Gaming extravaganza.

With hundreds of companies jostling for attention, it’s hardly hasty that so abounding are employing alluring business girls such as Alice to allurement in passers-by.

Two models – one cutting a pleather devil’s apparel and the added in a PVC angel’s accouterments – are handing out lollipops abreast the entrance. There are girls dressed as Greek goddesses, cowboys and air hostesses with heels that would be absolutely abstract for an emergency at 32,000 feet. Presumably Germaine Greer isn’t in allegation of the apparel administration at Ice this year.

It would be amiss to accord the consequence the accident is aloof a sprawling den of unreconstructed 1970s-style sexism (phwoar, attending at that little babe with the dejected wig and the diamante bra over there!).

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There’s additionally some self-deprecating humour about Ice’s use of about clad adolescent models to sex up a anniversary of action technology. The aisle from Custom Abode base is busy with Roy Lichtenstein-inspired posters, one of which appearance a baking woman bad-tempered beside the caption: “Dolores consistently had a bendable atom for hardly middle-aged men in the online gaming sector.”

And it’s not aloof the girls who are in, er, adult apparel – there’s a man dressed as Henry VIII abnormality about with a abounding smile on his barbate face. Admittedly, it’s not bright whether he’s associated with one of the announcement companies or is a extra from a antecedent accident at ExCeL – TudorFest14, perhaps.

But abundant about the distractions: Ice is primarily a abode of business. In the axial artery the air crackles with the sounds of brainstorming, networking and ad-lib affairs about action opportunities in Macau or in-play football-betting software actuality developed in Austria.

The all-around ambit of the appearance – and of the gaming industry – is astounding. Representatives from added than 100 countries are in appearance and an ancient Master of Ceremonies wouldn’t apperceive breadth to start: “Anyone from Belize in the abode this evening? A actual balmy acceptable to you. What about Uzbekistan? Over there in the corner. And breadth are the guys from Alderney eGambling? Keep a abutting eye on them, ladies and gentlemen, that’s breadth the party’s at tonight.”

There are seminars on the approaching of gaming in India – potentially a $60 billion bazaar – as able-bodied as the agenda bill Bitcoin and added opportunities for ablution businesses on Native American affiliated lands. A banderole on folio bristles of Ice Daily, the event’s chargeless newspaper, declares that 2014 is “a big year for the Isle of Man”. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ice anniversary turns the ExCeL into a United Nations of Gambling. Spaniards, Italians, Indians, Chinese, Germans and South Africans admix in the chain for coffee and one accumulation is accepting a acrimonious agitation in Swedish, a emphasis accustomed to anyone who watches abomination dramas on BBC4. From what I can gather, they’re discussing an abstract annihilation case in Gothenburg involving a chief civilian servant, an eco-terrorist and an Abba accolade act.

More academic betting-industry types are additionally on the warpath. A middle-aged American, acutely beneath the consequence that he’s starring in Ocean’s 11, yells: “We’ve alone got 12 minutes. Let’s move!” One of his British counterparts is bellowing bottomward the buzz in an Essex-geezer emphasis that doesn’t absolutely convince: “You guys accept been aggravating to do a accord with them for six months and you still haven’t done a accord with them.” Muppets.

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The majority of Ice attendees, however, assume added aggressive by Silicon Valley than by Atlantic City or Romford dog track. Hip adolescent geeks, who in addition life, ability accept been alive for Julian Assange in a Berlin commune, are borer abroad at their laptops, creating basic new blackjack software or cartoon for a basic soccer bout amid Newcastle City and Birmingham Rangers. The capital focus of the appearance is abstruse diabolism – the official archive promises that “a game-changing allotment of genius” emerges from Ice anniversary year – but it can be a little abstract for the layman.

‘Even the Met Police accept a starkly furnished stall’

Every added angle seems to be alms ‘solutions’ and best of these solutions allegedly booty abode on ‘platforms’. One aggregation has a bottle chiffonier of electromagnetic accelerated counters alluringly laid out like assurance rings. My compassionate of technology doesn’t amplitude to accelerated counters, whether they’re electromagnetic or, um, the added kind. In fact, I’m still disturbing to blow my name-badge to the braiding I was accustomed at reception.

Almost every date of the online action action is represented at Ice, from website and amateur designers to firms specialising in age-verification and acquittal systems. Among the casework on action from one IT aggregation is Disaster Recovery, which strikes me as a acceptable name for a angled line.

The Racing Post bistro at aftermost year’s Ice appointment at ExCel

I adjudge to leave the complexities of cyberbanking business to what the Ice columnist appointment describes as “the gaming world’s innovators and anticipation leaders”. It’s time to get aback to the absolute world: casinos.

The better apple in the Ice commonwealth is a blue-lit breadth which contains aggregate appropriate to about-face your barn into an addendum of the Las Vegas Strip. One aggregation declares itself “manufacturers of the world’s finest roulette wheel” (because there’s annihilation added black than acceptable $12,000 on a roulette caster that’s all scuffed and rickety, is there?)

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Derek Blasberg on Twitter: “Roy Lichtenstein-inspired Halloween .. | lichtenstein costume

There are bright poker tables and shiny, aflame aperture machines cooing their cyberbanking siren calls. It’s hardly alarming to see these machines in their chaste infancy, afore they’re covered in sandwich crumbs, agitated drinks and the assured dents inflicted by balked gamblers. It’s like attractive at a photograph of George Bush snr as a rosy-cheeked baby.

A all-inclusive arrangement of ergonomically advised chairs are additionally on show. These are, of course, the best important pieces of kit in any casino. They charge be adequate yet additionally athletic abundant to board the abounding backsides of vacationing visitors to Vegas on 18-hour slot-machine sessions. As you’d expect, the Racing Post Bistro (South Hall, Section 2, Angle 130) sets a aerial accepted in this department, agreeable guests to esplanade their rear ends in chairs from Prestige Seating Technology.

Not that the attention-grabbing stunts at Ice acquiesce visitors abundant time to sit around. In the capital boulevard, for some baffling reason, there’s a life-size animatronic archetypal of a anachronistic roaring at bodies queuing for the brainstorm bar. Over at the Betradar angle there’s a life-size animatronic archetypal of Phil Taylor arena darts adjoin a antagonism winner. Hang on, it’s absolutely Phil Taylor! There are logo-covered sports cars and motorbikes while models duke out Viennese chocolates. Playtech accept set up their articles in a refurbished double-decker London bus and are auspicious visitors to “experience the ultimate amateur journey”.

A big awning reminds assembly about the accessible World Regulatory Meeting, but I’ve already had too abundant action for one day.

Yet addition business babe thrusts a flyer into my duke and asks menacingly: “You appetite to party?” Absolutely not. I appetite to lie bottomward in a blurred allowance and let my active alive nightmares about aerial Wizard of Oz-themed aperture machines boring dissipate.

Shakespeare was about appropriate with his affirmation that all the world’s a stage. In fact, as any company to Ice this anniversary will acquaint you, all the world’s a gaming platform.

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